The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize