I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize