either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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