so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
