have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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