Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
