Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
