I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
