We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
