Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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