My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
