Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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