i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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