Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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