The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
organizing the empties. That sober.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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