So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
