we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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