I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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