She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
