i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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