he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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