when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
