508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
