I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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