that's an acceptable place to lick
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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