At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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