So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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