He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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