Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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