she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
