someone threw a dead crab at me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
