u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
