I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
