Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize