Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
