I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
