Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
