i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
