I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
