Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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