Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just made out with a guy for $7.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
