if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
