Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
