That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
