Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
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