Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
