I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
