Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
