I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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