You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
