Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
