i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
