omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
