the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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