so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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