i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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