I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
