woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
