He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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