I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
