Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize