the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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