no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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