All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
