I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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