I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
